Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold

I recently watched a lesser-known Rankin-Bass special known as The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold. Despite the good concept (even other holiday icons celebrate Christmas!), it wasn't very good and I can understand why it doesn't air today. The ending is unnecessarily brutal by Rankin-Bass standards. Usually, the villain is defeated non-lethally (often reforming), while the ones who were lethally defeated were shown to be much more repugnant than the norm and deserved death. This villain was fairly comical, and even once disguised herself as a pretty girl named Collen who was shipwrecked. I thought she would be turned into Colleen for real when she finds the Christmas gold, but instead she was destroyed.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

WHAT AM I BLOGGING FOOOOOOR!

Iris's death is actually a very symbolic scene, for two reasons.

The End of Innocence
Iris's death symbolizes the end of innocence for not only the X series, but Mega Man as a whole.  Notice how the games got progressively grimmer afterwards. The Legends series is as light as the Classic games, but something just feels... off... about it.

For Want of a Nail

If Iris was saved, she would have prevented the horrors of the Zero series:

* Being alive, Iris would give Zero moral support and prevent him from fighting X, let alone surrendering to Wily.
* Maybe it would have strengthened X and Zero's bond, due to both their lovers behind Navigating. This would have likely prevented the fight.
* It is said the previous Maverick Hunter commander retired after the RepliForce disaster. This was likely Cain who retired. Iris's survival would likely have made Cain happier and not resign. He could thus be a very good backbone for the hunters, possibly better than Signas.
* Perhaps Cain knew about Axl. He could find Axl early and make a turning point before billions of lives were lost. His power to copy enemies directly would have given him an advantage in the fight against Sigma.
* Iris might be able to help the relations between humans and Reploids when all is said and done.

Yeah, this is why I posted about Iris.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Perci Rain, Perci Rain

Or alternatively, "Comedy Hao". 

Reading on a topic about Hsu Hao, the infamous Mortal Kombat loser, I saw one comment about characters like Rain and Noob, how Netherealm was able to improve them. Someone else pointed out that the two were already liked as cool recolor ninjas. This reminds me of something: Perci.

Perci was liked because of her appearance and description. She looked a lot like Julie-Su, like how Sticks looks like Marine. Hence, she was shipped with Knuckles. She didn't do much in Boom proper, but she has the second-biggest following of any Boom character. Sound familiar?

A good extra can spawn a decent following.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Why We Care

"Aren't you able to abandon him? You have done the same with Backyard Sports, Army Men, Bubsy, Petz, Bubble Bobble, Joe Danger, and other damned franchises."

We won't. We can't. We mustn't. Because Sonic has far more staying power than the above-mentioned series. Sonic is viable as a multimedia universe, not just a game franchise. We are driven by more than just the gameplay. That is why we must hang on: we must save the franchise.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Gasbags

I figured out the reason why so many bad games are well-liked for a while before fading out: the viewers don't care about the game, only the bloated gasbag making videos on it. It used to be that such gasbags covered only games that were already popular, like Minecraft or Pokemon, or copied the Angry Video Game Nerd in taking on bad games and reacting in disgust. But then Markiplier covered Five Nights at Freddy's, and people discovered the brilliance of the game, and it became a hit with three sequels. From there, these gasbags decided to take a "monster of the day" approach, covering one new indie game a day.

Some of them got hooked on a game for some reason, and provided consistent coverage. Action Henk was an example (could RageSquid have paid them?) that really did not deserve this treatment. This game is in reality a giant hunk of shit. 

It's like Meme Run, except all Sanic. 

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Fant4stic

Fant4stic is an upcoming Fantastic Four film. Am I watching it? No. Not in its original theatrical run. Why? 'Tis a cash grab by Fox to keep the rights away from Disney. How can you tell?

Well, they made H.Torch a Nigga, for one. "But they made Falcon into the Avengers guard dog!"

The MCU has provided many memorable moments concerning several characters. Like the famous Avengers battle. Will this film do anything? No.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Unnecessary?

I once made a topic concerning Sonic 2013 hopes and speculations. One person, Soulis, posted this typical response:
Things Sega should do to revive Sonic: -Stop trying to make him look "edgy". Its embarrassing. -Stop focusing in complex stories. Its more embarrassing. -Kill every friend except Tails and Knuckles and deny they ever existed. Seriously, kill'em all. Slow like. Agonizing. -Fire all the voice actors. And when i say fire, i mean set them on fire. Sonic should NEVER speak again, ever. -Whoever comes up with ideas like holding a sword and the werehog.. throw him out of the window. The guy is an idiot. -The physics programmers. They suck. And they get paid. Homebrew Sonic games have superior physics. -Hey Sega... hire that Pelikan13 guy. And make him the head of Sonic Team. ASAP.
The idea of pulling a baby Brianna on the side characters in spite of erasing the things wrong with them irked me strongly, and I quickly replied.
Maybe we could, you know fix the extended cast, not kill them? With better physics and no voices, killing the friends would be a tad unnecessary.
The poster then snapped back with:
Sonic's friends are unnecessary. He doesn't need so many characters because his games don't need a complex story. It should not be a story driven series. Definitely not with THIS cast that makes it look like a badly designed cartoon for little kids. They even tried to make it look serious with drama and romance (LOL!) and all they did was to accidentally make a story about bestiality. And he doesn't need so many different playable characters either. The Sonic character was awesome and cool because he could run fast. That was his "thing" his power. So speed became one of the few things the series is all about (along with physics and good level design). I suppose Tails could run as fast because he could fly with his helicopter tails and that's fine, it looked cool. He was a deformed creature (two tails) but he could use his unique deformity in a cool way to do a thing only Sonic could do. Besides, he didn't really run as fast, he basically flies. Sonic has still the faster legs. But Knuckles running as fast was too much. Still, i don't want him killed off because at least the first games he was into were great. But suddenly, every single generic character in the universe, after Knuckles, could run like Sonic. So, if every character can run so fast then what's so cool and unique about Sonic? What's so cool and unique about Tail's deformity? Even Sonic's name sounds inappropriate now, why give him a name that suggest high speeds when everyone can run that fast in the first place? Its like naming a heroic fish character, in a game that takes place in an ocean, "swimmer" because he can move in the water. Like Syndrome said in the incredibles, "when everyone is super, no one is". The other alternative is to make all the other characters slow and give them different powers and things to do but then it wouldn't be a Sonic game anymore, would it? Remember, speed is important in a Sonic game. If i wanted to play a different, slower platform game i would play, guess what, a different platform game. When i play Sonic, i want to play, guess what again, Sonic. A platform game with a character that runs stupidly fast. So i guess the only thing that is left is to make all his friends NPCs or make them Robotnik's victims but again, there are too many generic and awfully designed characters that makes the series look like a toddler's cartoon show and the best way to fix them is to perform a more permanent fix to them, if you know what i mean. There is simply no reason for them to exist, at least in a Sonic game. If they want so much to make games about a gazillion generic characters then they should make a game about them and not ruin Sonic. So yeah, his friends need to go (and die) and the designers need to focus on other things if Sonic wants to become a unique character in a great series again, like in the 16bit days. But i guess it's too late for that now.
Let's analyze that:
He doesn't need so many characters because his games don't need a complex story. It should not be a story driven series. Definitely not with THIS cast that makes it look like a badly designed cartoon for little kids. They even tried to make it look serious with drama and romance (LOL!) and all they did was to accidentally make a story about bestiality.
Well, Sonic games have worked well with simpler stories, I can tell you that. But even a simple plot can indeed fail. Lost World had a ton of build-up that went nowhere. Instead, we got a ton of random filler jokes. In Colors, the jokes didn't hamper the basic plot of the game (save these cute floating alien squid that give you new powers and investigate Eggman's death trap!), but in Lost World, they do. ROL's plot was so shitty, bland, and boring that it collapsed anyway. A complex story suggests better writers on board to handle things. Hooking the stories of multiple games together could also help. And about the designs, we'll get to that later.
And he doesn't need so many different playable characters either. The Sonic character was awesome and cool because he could run fast. That was his "thing" his power. So speed became one of the few things the series is all about (along with physics and good level design). I suppose Tails could run as fast because he could fly with his helicopter tails and that's fine, it looked cool. He was a deformed creature (two tails) but he could use his unique deformity in a cool way to do a thing only Sonic could do. Besides, he didn't really run as fast, he basically flies. Sonic has still the faster legs.
Complimentary characters! That's a great idea! Of course powers should compliment each other. It's called character balance. Of course there wouldn't be a junk tier of weak characters, we'd try to avoid that. Even Pokemon has a PU tier of seriously weak mons. And some just wouldn't even be playable (i.e Omochao).
But Knuckles running as fast was too much. Still, i don't want him killed off because at least the first games he was into were great. But suddenly, every single generic character in the universe, after Knuckles, could run like Sonic. So, if every character can run so fast then what's so cool and unique about Sonic? What's so cool and unique about Tail's deformity? Even Sonic's name sounds inappropriate now, why give him a name that suggest high speeds when everyone can run that fast in the first place? Its like naming a heroic fish character, in a game that takes place in an ocean, "swimmer" because he can move in the water. Like Syndrome said in the incredibles, "when everyone is super, no one is".
Well, Sonic is the fastest out of all of them, that's what makes him special. Of course supporting characters can't run that darn fast (a thing alternate media does right).
The other alternative is to make all the other characters slow and give them different powers and things to do but then it wouldn't be a Sonic game anymore, would it? Remember, speed is important in a Sonic game. If i wanted to play a different, slower platform game i would play, guess what, a different platform game. When i play Sonic, i want to play, guess what again, Sonic. A platform game with a character that runs stupidly fast.
These additional slower characters could be optional. Character balance, remember.
So i guess the only thing that is left is to make all his friends NPCs or make them Robotnik's victims but again, there are too many generic and awfully designed characters that makes the series look like a toddler's cartoon show and the best way to fix them is to perform a more permanent fix to them, if you know what i mean.
Yeah, most side characters should be NPCs. Even Mario has several popular characters who were never playable (instead we get all these generic drone enemies and alternate versions of extant ones). Also, concerning the designs, I have suggested that the characters have a darker appearance along the lines of the TMNT allies and enemies...
This but with more boobs

But the poster still turned it down.
How many times we have to go through this...
There is simply no reason for them to exist, at least in a Sonic game.
Yeah, most of them should only be in other media. Have you ever seen a DC game with the KGBeast as playable? Or Egg Fu?
If they want so much to make games about a gazillion generic characters then they should make a game about them and not ruin Sonic.
So Skylanders but with more established characters? The REALLY horrible ones wouldn't merit a game of their own at all. For how many did Joh Yowza, Ziro the Hutt, Nute Gunray, or even Jar Jar ruin Star Wars? What of all the horrifically abysmal characters Disney swept under the rug recently, like Waru the sentient Jell-O mold, Prince Isolder (a.k.a. Fabio), Mt. Sorrow, Jaxxon, Luuke, Hoar, Beldorion, Trioculous...
So yeah, his friends need to go (and die) and the designers need to focus on other things if Sonic wants to become a unique character in a great series again, like in the 16bit days. But i guess it's too late for that now.
Yeah... But this game would like to have a word with you. I later replied that I didn't like that the poster wanted to spare Knuckles out of nostalgia. The poster then replied with this:
No, out of respect. Because Sonic 3 & Knuckles was the best Sonic game. Also, he doesn't look as annoying and obnoxious as the more recent friends. But i still wouldn't mind if they ditch him because i did find him unnecessary as a playable character. Its just that he doesn't annoy me that much as a design. He is Ok. And i suppose the series needs a couple of extra characters. Knuckles is OK. I guess we needed someone who can climb and reach a few secret shortcuts (although Tails could just fly there). And if they have to add more, they need to be properly designed and not messing with the main game design and style. Every character must make Sonic himself look cool. Like how Metal Sonic makes Sonic himself look even cooler because Robotnic used him as the model for one of his best weapons. Little things like that. Also, is this the only thing you got from the whole post? Generations is alright on the PC. It sucks on consoles. 30fps on a fast paced platform game that half of it is side scrolling? No way. As for the old games, yeah they were somewhat easy, however the chaos emeralds were challenging, although i preferred the Master System version where, unlike the Genesis games, they were scattered in the main levels and required a bit of exploration. But what i love about the genesis games is the addictive controls and physics, the level design that lets you play with them and rewards building up speed and momentum with alternate paths and shortcuts, the visual and audio style which is "cool" but in a more subtle way and the amazing soundtracks.

I really agree. Just look at the atrocity known as Comedy Chimp. Or pretty much every Boom character.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Another Thing About Action Henk

It's official: Action Henk is my new whipping boy. Not the game itself, but its fans who insist this is the best Sonic game since the Genesis days, when it's blatantly not. In fact, the game epitomizes why Sonic has been total shit since 2013 or so.

1) SPEEEEEEEEED! No pressure.


Sheer speed is a major spelling point of the game, and is only achieved through momentum-based movement, like Classic Sonic (more specifically Sonic 1). However, AH in the end incorporates speed very differently from how Sonic does. One uses speed in Action Henk as the main goal, rather than the means to an end.

Speed is effectively all there is (except reclaiming your trophy from Kentony, but that's directly tied to your speed). Platforming is obscured by the loops and chutes, with momentum-aided running jumps being absolutely necessary later on. Story is just as ridiculous as the Pontaff era. Combat is out of the way, with boss battles all being races against an opposing toy even more grotesque than you. 

2) No Annoying side characters? Not really. 

Action Henk has been stated to have "all the rush of a 2D Sonic game, without any of the annoying sidekicks."

Well, Sonic's friends and other supporting characters didn't become annoying and useless until later, and moreso over time. Even Sonic himself became an utterly unlikable character starting with Lost World.  Action Henk's side characters were doomed from the start.

Henk is the sole remotely decent character in the game. While ugly, he has that old Digimon/Toxic Crusaders feel to his design. He is a fine and okay character. The rest of them range from bland to horrifying. I've already shown you the nightmare that is Betsy before, and I don't want to show her off again. On the other hand, I will show you a character who could have been okay:

Afronaut (named "Neil" in the final draft) originally looked way better in the concept art than in the final game.  The final draft of the character didn't work as well. A cel-shading filter would have been very stylish and made him not unbearably grotesque.  There were also some characters who did not make it into the final cut: Stacy (a parody of Paris Hilton) and one in an astronaut suit.  Unlike Honey and Tiara, nobody cares about them. This is because of poor design. None of the characters really stand out (except UGH... Betsy). None have distinct abilities. None have real personality, only ghastly face value.

3) Robotnik/Eggman/Baldy/whatever

Kentony is not threatening in the slightest. His goal is to steal Henk's trophy and make him miserable, just like current Baldy. His threat to conquer the world comes out of nowhere. Kentony is Gaston's skin over Baldy. 

It turns out Henk's development history is much more interesting than the final game. However, I would like to grant the final product with a:


Friday, June 19, 2015

Pee and Poo: Attack of the Leftovers

The sole reason Sanic Dum: Pee and Poo even exists is because of it having been part of an old contractual obligation. SEGA prefers to bleed money, so they decided to go through with the contract rather than put it to rest. Going through with a contract based around one of the worst-received games in recent history takes some real imbecility (or worse, malice). They did let Sony aid in the production of Shemnue 3, so I guess it was imbecility.

"A more linear, classic experience"

I would have preferred if you improved on the old Metroidvania play style. This linearity implies nothing. It could just maintain the linear speed of the original, as Sonic's running was pretty much automatic.

"We have a new character, Amy Rose"

This has confused many, but Amy was not playable in Shattered Crystal, like how Sticks wasn't in Rise of Lyric.

"The people who hated Boom contributed to bad sales"

Many people were more or less indifferent to Boom. The games also recieved bad reviews because they were terrible. RoL in particular was a complete failure.

"We no longer consider the Wii U version canon."

R.I.P. Perci. Also, this does show that they were aware Rise of Lyric was a flop. They aren't aware it tainted Boom by being the figurehead. 

Overall, Pee and Poo will be another faliure and continue the state of crisis at hand.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

More Pee and Poo



So, did you guys want more content about Sanic Dum: Pee and Poo? Did you want to eradicate this filth from your minds? Well then, regardless, here it is:

http://www.usgamer.net/articles/whats-next-for-sonic-the-hedgehog-and-friends

Evidently, the game has a sillier tone closer to the aptly ridiculous show. Baldy McNosehair builds a series of robots to outrun and humiliate Old Man Ogilvie, like he would on the show, where Baldy's goal is to annoy Sonic rather than do much lethal. Even the Arc Villain evokes Crash Bandicoot in his naming scheme, being a little pun with a single letter before the rest of the pun: D-Fekt (defect). So this game gets points for source loyalty.

Expect plenty of this


There will be four boss battles, utilizing both screens like in the Rush series and Colors 64. These all appear to be creations of D-Fekt, as he is the main Arc Villain of this chapter, like Lyric in RoL as SC. I did like the double-screen of the olden days. D-Fekt is a Baldy creation gone mad with obsession to gain power from the "Ragnium" of Bygone Island. He even looks a lot like Orbot and Cubot, killing any sort of menace factor to him. He's a dumpy, stupid looking robot.

There are unlockable characters. Whether this means we start with Sonic like in SC or we can get Metal Sonic, Perci, and Shadow is unknown. There is a screenshot depicting what appears to be Metal Sonic, however.

The game is also to strongly feature the multiplayer "Bot Race", where you collect and race Bots build by Baldy McNosehair of various characters. Whether the Bots are playable or not is unknown. These Bots seem fairly similar to the "Sim Sonics" of the Colors Era. The recolored Metal Sonic down there seems to indicate that what is shown is Bot Race.
All five main characters are playable in the third SB


Also, BOUNCEPADSBOUNCEPADSBOUNCEPADS are gone, replaced by traditional springs. So we will likely no longer hear "BOUNCEPADSBOUNCDEPADSYOU'RESOCONVIENIENTEPICBOUNCEPADLAUNCHYAY!" in the game. Other obnoxious phrases might get phased out to in order to be more in line with the show's humor.

On Tumblr, the cover-art is tagged with #it's going to be way better than the first one. Hubris, much. The first game, as you all know, was abysmal. The second was forgettable, but had some good music tracks. So there really isn't much of a gap for the third to climb. It's like claiming the Genesis Action 52 was way better than the NES one (Their "Cheetahmen" is even worse than the NES Cheetahmen). So that assures nothing.

What could have been


D-Fekt has become a minor joke, and I can't find any fanart of the guy at all. Shows how low this game has gotten to. Before RoL, even minor NPC Perci got a truckload of fan-art.

Unfortunately, I have cancelled my Doom skin of her


And worst of them all, BOOM SONIC IS NOW MODERN SONIC. SEGA have entered their death throes. SEGA are likely trying to die (or torment us with hellfire). It's at least a better situation than Spyro (at least Modern still exists as Legacy Sonic, though Legacy's fate is unclear), but greenlighting another game following RoL is pure stupidity. I've only seen Atari act like such an idiot. Even Ubisoft shoved Petz to the side as they milked it to utter destruction.

You were better under Penders
In five years time...


I have never seen a Sonic game get such an unanimously bad reception before: people were even initially hyped for RoL.



Will Pee and Poo be Sonic's Backyard Baseball 2007? Or can Sonic be saved yet?


Thursday, June 11, 2015

The Action Henk Fallacy

 Well, word has been going around of a Sonic "spiritual successor" called Action Henk. In my opinion, without even playing it... IT SUCKS MONKEY BUTTS!



Yes, I've managed to get this assumption from damn gameplay footage recorded by some neckbeard. For one thing, the character designs are downright scary, and not in a good way. Henk does look pretty creepy to begin with, but then you take a look at someone like Betsy...

MOMMY! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!
The reason Sonic won a huge fanbase was because of appealing character design.  Each of the characters was well-designed and appealing. Freedom Planet and other franchises followed this principle. AH does not. You can't relate to anyone of these horrifying Bozos and Slugs.

Also, there's the level design, which Is  very linear and lacks depth. Sonic has exploration and multiple paths.  AH has just running and sliding about. Maybe you can go faster on slopes but to little avail other than a new score. There is a level maker, but most levels made are just as bad as the pack-ins.

Well, I realize this is not a BAD GAME per se, but it's a niche title for sure. It's niche are the extremist Sonic "fans" out there, who claim:

* Kill all the characters except Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Robotnik. 
* Back to 2D, 100%.
* No story! 
* No "edge". Make it comedic, like Earthworm Jim, or straight-up childish. 
* Physics are absolutely everything. The rest of gameplay factors do not matter.
* Reduce it all to XBLA titles. 
* Creativity= NO! No experimentation whatsoever! Have you seen that fucking Werehog?
* Levels need to be a straight track to the goal! Use momentum!


This game fits those "demands" well. You can clearly see people screaming "Get SEGA to hire these guys.", "The only real Sonic game since 1994", and other things. "As if Freedom Planet, the Sonic Adventure duology, the Unleashed Trilogy, the Advance series and other portables, and constant fan-games don't exist," you may think. No. This game aims at those picky weirdos who don't really like Sonic, they only want shallow nostalgia. 

They want an imagined "Sanic", a Sonic without his very nature. A game based on physics and physics alone. Just running, bum-sliding, and being FATS. This game satisfies those wants well.

So sayonara, extremist punks, this is the place you want to be in!  Stay with the Henk, and don't wish for Sonic to become like that! Us Sonic fans are off from this place.

Or you can choose the Freedom Planet Life, like how it chose me.


Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Fire And Ice: The End Is Near

Sonic Boom Three. No, really. They're making a third Sonic Boom game in the form of Fire and Ice. I guess they were serious about splitting the branches of the series...


On the other hand, I have never seen a Sonic game, or ANY game, get such an UNINANIMOUS NEGATIVE RECEPTION. From fans, non-fans, maybe even the target audience. The reception is so bad, people who haven't touched Sonic in ages come to gawk at this shit!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Point of No Return

There is a state beyond jumping the shark, a wicked and vicious state few have achieved. A terrible state, one showing no going back. They have become a monster of a franchise. No quality drop will be below them, they have already bottomed out in quality. Death does not follow the franchise into the grave, rather, a living death lingers on their very souls. A limbo of empty moneymaking, seeking money that no longer exists.

Has Sonic achieved this narakrap? We will ask that question later. First, let's take a look at franchises that certainly have achieved this. All three were once moderately popular PC game franchises, but fell down worse and worse over time. Now they do appeal to only the lowest common denominator. The first of three disgraces is Backyard Sports. I have already discussed this franchise once. I wrote how it was utterly razed by corporate greed. It turns out they made a new mobile dump of it. Let's take a look...


FUCKFUCKFUCK Not this crap again!
Aaand, we get more shit that will only appeal to fuckwhocares. This is just a dull sellout along the lines of Candy Crush Saga (which I'm on the borderline of not even considering a videogame). Typical app crap. They didn't even change the designs back! They still look tweenish! The characters looking like cute kids with little bead eyes was part of the appeal!

And what the fuck happened to most of the Backyard Kids, anyway? Those who haven't been fuckshitted beyond fucking recognition have just fucking dissipated into fucking oblivion for fucking YEARS. 11 FUCKING CHARACTERS ARE GONE. And some fucking lame new fucking characters don't fucking change fucking anything.

The next is Petz. You know, those dumb as shit games you see in the bargain bins at your average department store next to the ones based on preschool shows and foodstuffs? THEY USED TO BE GOOD.




Really. The original PC incarnations were an innovative series of Pet simulators based around uniquely designed and coded 3D characters. The series's mod scene created many extra breeds. Some of these breeds are very wild and specialized, like Eeveelutions.  But then 2006 rolled around, and we got a major console release of Petz, and it ripped off Nintendogs. From then on, they would either copy Nintendogs to the letter or make some bizarre premise no one cares about.



Now they're on level with Imagine.

Last is Army Men. Thankfully, this franchise seems to have been laid to rest at last in 2010. But before that, we got a bunch of increasingly worse spins on the series after Air Combat. But the final nail was Soldiers of Misfortune:

In Name Only
Has Sonic succumbed to the fate of these three with RoL? You be the judge.

Burn Notice

In Street Fighter II, when a character is burned, their burning silhouette is clearly that of M. Bison/Vega regardless of your character.


Super Street Fighter II rectified this somewhat, as Zangief got his own burn sprites, which were reused for T.Hawk (in addition to there now being stand and crouch burns).


However, at no point in a 2D Street Fighter game did everyone get their own burn animation. The Alpha series (and thus MVC by reusing the sprites) went with a more cartoony artstyle, and had a generic orange color filter applied to burned players with a few translucent flames, similar to KOF. The same applied with III and CVS2, but with better animation. Capcom's Darkstalkers had unique cartoony ash face effects for everyone (even the headswap).

SF4, however, managed to replicate the effect by darkening and/or reddening the textures on the foe and adding the flame effect.  Some attacks make the foe go darker than others, which was a nice touch.

In the end: I have two questions:

1) What would specific burn animations of the other SF2 characters have looked like?
2) Could other fighters have characters identified from the burn silhouettes?

Monday, March 9, 2015

Sonic Lost World

I didn't choose the Freedom Planet Life. The Freedom Planet Life chose me

With my recent rant against SEGA's sociopath-like actions, some may ask "what's with the Sonic background?" My answer, I'm still interested in Sonic as a universe. Not so much in the franchise of games. And it's thanks to Sonic Lost World, one of the most utterly DIRE games I have ever had the misfortune to play (up there with F-14 Tomcat on the GBA), and the biggest piece of shit I have received for Christmas.


The worst factor is that I was utterly excited for this turd on first announcement. When first revealed, we were given a picture of a mysterious planetoid made of hexagons, that appeared to be falling apart, and Sonic and Tails were approaching it in the Tornado I.



This new location seemed interesting. Its biomes seemed consistent with deleted levels from prior Sonic games. With its status as a "lost world", could it have those ancient levels? Initial suspicious levied at the game included being exclusive to a failing system, and looking too Mario-ish. Others joked about these whines.

Then they unveiled a group of guardians, who looked "very cartoonish, like something from Rayman". They were shown in silhouette only.

Mysterious and spooky.
What were they? Were they friends or foes? Would they be playable? Were there more? People's excitement continued to boil, as fan-made logos were crafted, interpretations of the six were made, and plenty of guesses about the game's plot were posited.

Better than the official one by far
People were wanting to see the Chaotix, Tikal, Nack, and many other characters get involved after years of Sola Sonica. They hoped for an intriguing tale to shiver the bones after the joke plots of Colors and Generations. And then the trailer dropped.



Hey look, the Animal Friends! It seems that my theory about them having their own language is confirmed. And they're in... Green Hill Zone? The real thing? Wheeeeew... SLAM! Here come the "guardian" fellows.

They look pretty nasty, but not that bad. Definitely not "big bad" material, but fun bosses anyway. Maybe there's a bigger threat in here? Ah, here comes Sonic. 

Round 1, Fight! Sonic whooshes off into GHZ. It seems oddly... fake. Why's everything so cubist/paper-mâché? Why's the grass blocky paper? How come the Badniks look EXACTLY like the Genesis ones except for a few color differences? 

Hey look, Galaxy-ish parkour skills! Is that the gimmick? It looks kinda fun, and fits with Sonic, too. I noticed how he could run up walls in the classic games and especially the Adventures. 

Only Sonic is playable... Again. Why? We're tired of Sola Sonica! Can you give us one other character to play as?  Well, it seems they're in the story, at least, and more of them too.



That red dude said "Your fate is to be destroyed. Why don't you accept that? Lie down and die!" Wow, he's kinda threatening, expected him to be a total joke. WISPS? They're back? Why? They were left on their home planet at the end of Colors, how could they return to Sonic? Why pick Wisps, and NEW ones at that, over our favorite characters? The Eagle looks cool, but that musical note one... way too gimmicky and specific.

Ugh, Pontaff is back. Why them? Can they even bother with a serious tale? More gameplay. It's kinda finicky, hopefully it shall be fixed by release. At least the levels seem very varied. Even the gameplay types tend to change up, and there's a lot of level archetypes not previously seen in Sonic.

I theorized that each of these Deadly Six was actually a parody of a known Sonic hater:

  • Zavok: GameInformer. His size reflects their professional status and sheer reach through their magazine. He also is quite threatening to Sonic with his above lines.
  • Zazz: Mariotehplumber. He lurks in the GHZ ripoff, wants to "pound his sorry blue butt", and is rather spastic and thin.
  • Zeena: Hoggys2much. The token gal gets compared to the nasty old womanizer. Zeena's cold home reflects Hoggy's cold heart and cold domain of lawless social networks.
  • Zor: Gligar13Vids. His emo nature reflects Gligar's lust of dark content. 
  • Zomon: Konata1000. They both look pretty wonky.
  • Zik: Zero Punctuation. Fits by being the oldest and most curmudgeonly. 


Zeena is getting a ton of fan art, plus more than a few group shots as well. Meanwhile, Conflicting Views as a few other places started complaining that the game was "kiddie" and referring to it as Sonic Lost Mind. They were weeding out everything that was "un-Sonicy", like Dessert Ruins 3. They kept on screaming "The Nintendoization of Sonic!"

Well, this game's going to prove pretty fun, right? I enjoyed the Unleashed Trilogy, how can this be any worse? It's gonna be like those with more exploration-based gameplay and a somewhat darker story.

And then the game dropped. Mediocre reviews? What is this? Maybe they were right, I ended up with the game for Christmas. And oh boy, did it suck. Hard. It was so rancid it put me off Sonic games.  Well, let me sum up this hunk of junk in one witty sentence:

This Is Your Sonic On Drugs

The gameplay is a broken mess of gimmicks, bad controls, half-baked ideas, glitches, unforgiving difficulty,  and general tedium. The story tried to be decent, but fell flat on its face with unlikable characters. The visuals are forgettable at best. The music is so un-Sonic it can be described as anti-Sonic.

Actually, this applies to the whole game. This game tortured me with horridness.

First, let us discuss the "Deadly" Six, who feel like more of a nuisance than a threat regardless of how much the story tries. You almost feel sorry for them (and there's a few fans that did). They're also a horde of stereotypes that border on the offensive at times, and nothing else. Particularly aggravating is the fact they apparently die in Lava Mountain. Eggman is just as pathetic. The poor fellow is officially a complete Squidward.

He falls victim to Sonic's heroic antics, causing catastrophe to happen to him, and at the end, is still treated as a villain and given a karmic punishment. Even the boss battle couldn't make him a threat: hear this spicy POLKA music to battle him against as he fights you in a clone of the Egg Nega Wisp without any of the tension, excitement, or surprise.

And Knuckles? Knuckles has officially become a total Butt Monkey. All he does is get shoved by Amy and carried off by the Animal Friends. Poor guy, especially with the Pendering (induced largely by SEGA) destroying much of his remaining relevance. It's a good thing he wasn't around to experience the horrors of the later levels, especially that fucking snowball one. But I didn't get to experience most of this bullshit. I was already put off.

I was put off by the aggravation apparent in the crap level design. And Tails the primadonna. And the shit music.  Well, let's start with the opening cutscene. Sonic and Baldy McNosehair have a dogfight in the air. Sonic wants Baldy to "drop the critters". He complies, and sends them hurtling down off his Egg-O-Matic. They land on a planetoid called Lost Hex. Tails tells Sonic "It's the Lost Hex!" as if the both of them have known the place for a long time. We land, and basically the first glimpse of this "lost world" is practically Green Hill Zone. Way to start your new alien world, Izuka.

After a bit of simple parkouring and fidgeting to get used to this new style, we encounter these "deadly"  weirdos. Baldy tells sonic "They are no-one's friends!" "These are the Deadly Six,and they are your worst enemies!"  And then the thin pink creep says some sociopaths things to Sonic. Lets see how you turn out, pinky! He's weaker than Cut Man. Stinking Cut Man! Next, we fight him again after a finicky cave level. Hasn't grown a bit. Next is Desert Ruins. How compelling.

Our next baddie is Zomom after an admittedly fun Mach Speed area. His battle's actually pretty innovative and cool, with him shifting the little blocky head about before butt slamming IN 3D!
After that, however, things go to utter shit fast. Welcome to candy land. That zone made no sense. Why do the donuts float and spin in synchronization? Why is the road just licorice? Why all the arbitrary platforms? Next comes a lousy chase stage with Zomom in a tornado. After a super-gimmick battle, the Six betray Eggman, and then Sonic teams up with Baldy to stop them. 

Tropical Coast was mostly lousy and forgettable, except for the excellent Act 3, a highlight of the game. By Act 4, I decided "This is absolutely not Sonic." And I never played it again.

Lost Mind? Lost Sanity? Lost Cause? Lost Balls? I have a better name for this shit:

Sonic Ordeal

"ATTITUDE is the difference between an Adventure and an Ordeal". This is one of my favorite messages I have discovered.

Here, we have a Sonic game with no attitude whatsoever:

Ow the Lack of edge!
The characters act like they're in a Seth MacFarlane cartoon, uncaring of the "crisis" at hand. The music is varied but unfitting. And the graphics are eye-bleedingly doofy and neon. 

I now support the Adventure Spirit.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Overlooked Games: Random Heroes Series

Why has "app game" become a derogatory term? Why is everyone in the gaming world so afraid of games for phones regardless of content? Maybe it's due to the skinnerboxes, bland clones, broken ports, and dadaist slop that often haunt the truly vast App Store, blending in with and crowding out what is actually good there, giving the impression that all apps are evil. And with the ease of milking casuals through skinnerboxes, this is becoming horrifyingly common. 



Today on Overlooked Games, I will be writing an article on a certain series of iOS games which are my go-to apps for killing time: the Random Heroes series. Random Heroes is a series of 16-bit styled side scrolling action platformers focused on taking out alien enemies.

Developed by Ravenous Games, Random Heroes began life as an online flash game on Armor Games. You could play as a number of "heroes", whom were mostly the same, on a retro shooting adventure to gun down green aliens. Killed aliens would explode into coins, which could be spent on guns. Later, an iOS game was released, and the series truly began to pick up steam. Now, the number of heroes and weapons had expanded greatly, and each had different stats.

Overall the game was mostly the same as the browser original: a nice little diversion with a sweet 16-bit look and feel. The game apparently did well enough for a sequel to be greenlit, and that sequel was Random Heroes 2. This game here convinced me that Ravenous may be the best unsung developer out there.

Unlike the original where they only had different stats (and were referred to as mere costumes for Bandit), the heroes had different abilities from one another. The princess is my favorite: she can float in an obvious nod to another, more famous princess. While it's one different ability each, this combined with the stats is just enough to spark some replay value.

I haven't played the third yet, but all three seem to be worth your time.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

SEGA is the Patrick Star of the Video Game Industry

The consumer is poor Gary

Yes, that Patrick, the one who a certain Mr. Enter declared a sociopath, the most evil character on SpongeBob. SEGA are sociopaths.

Unlike EA or Activision, which have a cold, business-minded sort of evil to them, or others like Atari who are just rather petty, SEGA seem to have a love for gleeful and active torment of their consumers. Lets take a look at their primary weapon, Sanic Sawneek Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic 2006 met a poor reception, and journalists everywhere complained. SEGA's response was to fix the wrongs with the game in a bizarre and extremist way with Sonic Unleashed.

The characters other than the Genesis ones are complained about? Pretty much give them the boot and make Sonic the only playable character. Too sluggish? Make a speed-oriented playstyle. Too serious? FOOD JOKES and unbuilt-upon world-building it is! Unfortunately, Sonic's playstyle was quite vapid and the other characters were forbidden, so they came up with a Werehog gameplay. Despite being Sonic, it was truly the series's most alien playstyle (other than the Tornado Defense and Gaia Colossus, which were COMPLETELY alien to core Sonic play but only lasted for a little bit), and rather trashy too. In the end, reception was lukewarm.

Past the energetic main gameplay, there wasn't much to it. Sure, there was the whole "collecting souvenirs" and other small bits here and there, but those weren't much compared to Chao Gardens. The lukewarmness, combined with some poor spinoff games, led to a game called "Project Needlemouse"



The game was given more and more tantalizing tidbits as the months ticked on, with all indicators translating to the revival of classic Sonic. And then it came. It was Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode One. Despite the modern Sonic and whatnot, people were still pumped for the game, and wanted it to be great. Then the game dropped, met a horrific reception in the fandom as a paraiah, and that was the last straw.

No, it wasn't. Critics only saw a lukewarm reception to the game, as opposed to despisal. SEGA, now knowing Sonic had lost all respect in the mainstream, killed Sonic, like Crash before him and Bomberman, B.K., Megaman, and others afterwards...

WRONG!

SEGA chose to torture the "fandom" and little kids with their old hedgepig. Have you even seen the games released recently?
Ha ha, so edgy. 


Uhh... I can explain

Other publishers and developers would have killed a franchise for a bad streak. Yet SEGA chooses to keep Sonic around as an instrument of torture, despite the games selling less and less, and appeal dropping to zero. They even got their paws on the spinoff media, like neglecting and at the same time overbearing the comics (remember the Pendering? It was SEGA's fault), making utter crap action figures (Storm before Blaze?), and the fiasco that is the Boom animated series (the opposite of what the fans desire). But enough of Sonic.

Their other classic IP are all laying dead in a safe somewhere, even though many of them are truly beloved by many, And some have came back for a short while to lukewarm reception. Super Monkey Ball has become a Peggle clone. And what of their newer IP? Shit, all shit (Except Hell Yeah!). Forgettable shit, but shit nonetheless. Particular mention goes to Jack Lumber, an indie game SEGA published. They mistreated and spited the developers of the game as well. And SEGA isn't doing this for money, no. They're losing more and more money even though similar tactics earn EA (Mr. Krabs) and Activision (Plankton) cash and territory (thankfully people ARE starting to wise up on them). SEGA are simply torturing because it is fun.

And that's what make them the true monsters of the industry.