Saturday, January 9, 2016

Worship the Dusty Turd

Jack that franchise-killing bullshit in HD and fix nought, Big Mario!
The one thing I truly despise about Nintards is the fact they worship absolute garbage years after its release, making it look as if the people have picked up the buffalo piss and have begun to worship it. This happened to Super Mario Sunshine (and rainbows and bubblegum and balloons) and even the "Game that Killed the Cube", Celda: Weed Whacker.

Sailing to nowhere in particular is sure fun. Better than killing monsters, finding hidden caverns, or shopping.
Yes, you heard me right: Nintards worship the Wind Breaker enough for it to get an HD remix that fixed nothing. Why is a company doing this? You can't re-release an awful niche game, slap "HD" on it, and not change the flaws. This is NINTENDO doing this, not just some hack like DDI or RageSquid, nor a villainous company like Konami or EA.  Why would they pull this shit? SMAS was awesome, taking three classics (and one historically-important mission pack) and restoring them for the 16-bit age, and some versions added Super Mario World and revised it. This? It's just taking a sacred bundle of shit, cleaning it off, and selling it for a dozen sixpence.

True story time, everyone.

It's called Too Much Sunshine.
Once, I rented Mario Sunshine from Hollywood Video, as I knew Mario fairly well from Super Mario World and Super Smash Bros. Melee. I wanted to see more of him. At the end of the day, my reaction was: "THIS is your hero, Nintendo? Shame. Shame. No wonder Sonic is better, Mario is just awful. I don't like this boring game. "

That-a didn't help at-a all!
What's the difference between worshipping these two and liking Sonic 06, JP Tresspasser, Daikatana, etc? Because fans of those three games have an urge to fix them, purge them of the flaws that led to their falls. Nintards just worship these turds as-is.

No comments:

Post a Comment